


It's Okay To Be Scared

by LoverAwakened



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angel Castiel, Caring Dean Winchester, Castiel Freaks Out, Communication, Confused Dean Winchester, Developing Relationship, Emotional Castiel, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Making Out, Men of Letters Bunker, Miscommunication, Scared Castiel, Sexual exploration, being scared, make-out session
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 12:11:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9607010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoverAwakened/pseuds/LoverAwakened
Summary: Dean finally works up the courage to kiss his Angel after so many years of suppressing and denying his feelings. Things seem to be going pretty well when Cas suddenly disappears leaving a confused and horny Dean behind. The next morning, Castiel drops in to apologize and attempts to explain himself.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Tumblr prompt: Dean and Cas are about to have sex and Cas freaks out and disappears only to come back the next day profusely apologizing.

Castiel’s lips were warm and soft, despite being perpetually chapped. Dean couldn’t believe he finally worked up the courage to kiss Cas after all the years of wanting, suppression, and denial. This was happening. This was real. Dean’s tongue darted out to lick the seam of Castiel’s lips, making a noise low in his throat when the angel’s mouth opened for him. Slowly, Dean walked the angel backward, pressing Cas against the bedroom door, tongues and hands exploring each other’s bodies.

 Castiel was panting, making tiny whimpers and groans under the ministrations of the hunter’s mouth. Dean was as hard as marble, the front of his boxers damp from his weeping cockhead. He rolled his hips against the angel searching for any kind of friction to relieve the pressure in his groin, pleased to feel Cas was just as hard in his slacks. Castiel’s head fell back, thumping against the door, the angel letting out the most sinful moan Dean had ever heard--and Dean’s seen a lot of porn. He needed to hear more of those delicious noises. 

Dean reached for the angel’s belt, unbuckling and unfastening the slacks as the hunter sucked marks along Castiel’s neck, teeth grazing over Cas’ Adam’s apple. Dean pushed the angel’s pants down enough to free his cock, hands making quick work of the button and zipper of his own jeans. Deep blue eyes went wide as Dean pulled his cock free, the cool air feeling good against his hot skin. Dean captured the angel’s lips in a hard kiss. It took a moment for Dean to realize the angel wasn’t kissing back this time.

 Castiel’s whole body went rigid, his breathing erratic.

 Dean frowned.

 “Cas?”  

 Castiel opened his mouth to speak but then clamped it shut. Cas released the grip he’d had on Dean’s shirt since the kissing began. The next second, the angel was gone, leaving Dean facing the closed bedroom door, cock hanging out and still wet at the tip.

 “Cas?” Dean called. “Castiel, come back!”

 Dean ran his hands through his hair, turning in a slow circle. “What the fuck?” he whispered.

 In the morning, Dean woke up with a raging hard-on.

 “Awesome,” Dean growled.

 He rolled to the side, intent on going back to sleep and forgetting last night ever happened when the hunter felt a dip in the mattress and a shadow loomed across his half-lidded eyes.

 “Son of a bitch!”

Dean shot up in the bed, body instantly in fight mode as he ripped a blade down from the wall of weapons above his bed, pressing the blade against the intruder’s throat.

 “Hello, Dean.”

 Castiel’s voice was calm, uninterested in the blade biting into the skin of his neck. Dean slowly came to himself, his breath calming, but heart still thundered in his chest as recognition passed over his face.

 “What the fuck, Cas? You can’t just poof into my bed when I’m half asleep, man! I could have killed you!”

 “Would you like to lower your weapon now?”

 Dean glared at the angel, but loosened his grip on the handle of the blade, lowering his arm.

 “What the fuck happened last night, Cas?”

 The angel hung his head shamefully. “I’m so sorry, Dean.”

 “Did you not want to or something?”

 “No, Dean, no! It wasn’t that…it’s just…I just…I’m so sorry.”

 Dean cocked an eyebrow, “Yeah, you said that already.”

 “I know. I’m sorry. I’m so very, very sorry, Dean.” Castiel fisted the sheets, clenching and unclenching. “I have wanted you for a long time, Dean. So long I’m not even sure anymore when it began,” the angel swallowed, big blue eyes wet with unshed tears, “I don’t have much experience in…in physical affections. I was overwhelmed. There were so many emotions. So many sensations— “

 “So you decided disappearing in the middle of it was the way to go?” Dean deadpanned.

 “I’m sorry.”

 Dean sighed, running a hand over the top of his head. He pried the angel’s hands from their death grip on his sheets, holding them gently and rubbing soothing circles into the backs of Cas’ hands with his thumbs.

 “Look, Cas, I’m not a mind reader, okay?” Dean said, softly. “If there is something happening that you don’t want, or I’m moving too fast and you want to slow down, you need to speak up, man. Say no. I’ll stop.”

 “I’m sorry, Dean. I did want it, but— “

 “So help me, Cas if you apologize to me one more time I’m gonna lose my shit!” Dean snapped. He took a deep breath and started again. “It’s okay to say no, Cas. It’s okay to be scared. But you _need_ to tell me what you’re thinking, man. I know communication isn’t really our thing,” Castiel snickered at that, and Dean narrowed his eyes at the angel, “I know we suck at communication, but when it comes to a physical relationship, it’s pretty damn important, Cas.”

 Castiel hunched his shoulders forward.

 “And if I’m not ready,” Cas said meekly, his gaze locking on Dean, cerulean eyes searching.

 “Then you aren’t ready,” Dean shrugged, “ And that’s okay. I’m not gonna push. I’m fine with whatever you’re willing to give me,” Dean said, gently.

 Castiel smiled, eyes bright, as he pulled Dean into a hug. Cas buried his face in the hunter’s neck.

 “Thank you, Dean. I promise I’ll tell you next time.”

 “Yeah, no more flying off.”

 “I promise. Dean?”

 “Yeah, Cas?”

 “Could we kiss again? I really liked the kissing.”

 Dean smiled, pulling back slightly to look at the angel. “Anything you want, Angel. Anything you want.”

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr [LoverAwakened](http://www.lover-awakened.tumblr.com)


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